Things that change when you have a baby

I remember when I was pregnant with our child and everyone would say that having a baby changes everything. I was a little irritated because I thought I understood that already. Why did people keep telling me like I didn't know? Then, Nuha came and I suddenly understood. I don't think that is something anyone can really grasp until they have their first child. Having a baby changes a person's life in so many ways, regardless of how old you are when you have it. Here's how Nuha has changed me in so many ways:

1. I respect my parent and love them in a new way. Having Nuha makes me love my parent even more because I am now going through what my parent had gone through for me. And the fact that they never make a fuss about their hardship makes me realize that I am one lucky girl. 
2. Once you are responsible for another human being, you see things differently. You start to see things in a different light. The way you think about money changes. I would rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that I've been dying to have. Now, I think in terms of how many diapers, or clothes that RM50 could buy.  I see the world differently because I see in terms of how it will effect my baby.  Having Nuha really changes my perspective on absolutely everything. My priorities shift 
3. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own. Nuha had her first fever recently. I swear to god that I've never felt this sad and worried when I saw the symptoms at the start of a cold hit her. I cried when I saw mucus running down the back of her throat. 
4. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do!
5. I've never felt this accomplished before. Having Nuha is by far the greatest achievement in my life. 
6. My social life drastically taper down because Nuha does not usually take well to restaurants or other outings. However, this is going to depend on your baby and how you two are as a couple.
7. Sudden sleep deprivation. Caring for baby requires a tremendous exertion of energy. You have to continually feed your baby, burp it, and change its diapers. It is also important that you monitor baby—even if the baby is napping—to ensure her breathing is regular. On top of that, you have to go to work and do the house chores. Can you imagine how tiring it is?
8. As a breastfeeding mom, I dress differently than I used to. Now. whatever I wear I have to think of my baby. I can't wear tight fitting top as it would give me a hard time to feed my baby. 
9. I go to bed as early as 8 pm and wake up at 5 am everyday.
10. I've never been this happy!!! In fact, I am happy all the time even when my job is killing me.
11. I discover an inner strength I never thought I had. I think I just became a superhero because my love for Nuha is limitless. I never knew I had this capacity to love. I am now more intuitive, sensitive, protective and caring.
12. I think about Nuha all the time. I have this new habit of doodling my baby's name when in meetings or when I'm bored. And I can't think of anything else to write about other than Nuha. My blog bores you.. I know. heh

So, yes. Having a baby will be a life-changer. Along with the sleep deprivation and loss of freedom will come things you never even imagined.  This is her, the girl who changes me in a lot of ways.

My Childbirth Experience

There is something very special about childbirth because while there are so many people around you that have been through it, no two are the same. When I had Nuha, it was really quite strange. I absolutely had no idea what to expect. To tell you the truth, I was not really ready for this whole 'motherhood' thingy. I was scared all the time when I had her in my tummy. Anyway, here's how it all began.....

That Tuesday afternoon, I showed up at the hospital for my 39-weeks pregnancy check up. I was alone that day because my husband had to work and couldn't take a time off. My water still hadn't broken and I remember feeling so energetic that day. It was around 12 pm when I brought my pregnancy check up book to the nurse for my CTG scan. A few nurses came in the room while I had my CTG scan. One of them keep popping in and out of the room and told me that I had to do another CTG. I wasn't in pain at all at that time and felt so hungry. I slept all the way for my 2nd CTG scan. I was only awake when the doctor came in to check on me. He was quite surprised when he saw me sleeping and said "Eh, you are sleeping? Don't you feel any pain?" Apparently, I was already 4cm dilated when he did the VE on me. The first thing that I said to him was "But doctor, I still haven't had my Nasi Ayam.. I am not ready." I had my eye on the Nasi Ayam in front of Ampang Puteri while I was driving to the hospital. He then laughed and said to me that I can have my Nasi Ayam and should come back to the labour room at 3pm. Can you guess what happens next? Yes!! I had 2 plates of roasted Nasi Ayam while waiting for my husband to come to the hospital. At the same time, mom kept on calling me and reminding me to recite all the necessary Quranic verses. 

It was 3pm and I went straight to the labor room without bringing anything with me. My bag was at home and I had to wait for my husband to pick it up before we met. The nurses prepped me up and I waited but I wasn't so sure what I was waiting for. In my mind, I was like "Am i waiting for my husband or my doctor?" Like I told you, I wasn't ready when Nuha wanted to come out of my tummy. Doctor came in and asked me whether I want an epidural or not. I was about to answer yes when he said "No need la.. I think you can go through this whole thing without an epidural" and I went along with it. To cut the story short, husband was already there when the doctor broke my water. I remember feeling in pain when it was 6 pm. The pain was excruciating that I felt like kicking and punching my husband. I took the happy gas and my doctor gave me a shot of pain killer. Trust me, those things weren't helping at all. 

0800 pm and I was 8 cm dilated. At this point, I regretted that I went along with my doctor when he told me that I shouldn't take the epidural. 

1130  pm, 10 cm dilated. The contraction pains were killing me! The doctor briefed me on how to push my baby out. I listened to his instructions. I remember a nurse cheering me up after every push. 7 pushes and Nuha was out. I could hear her cry immediately. She was so loud that my doctor and the nurses said "wow! kuat nya suara dia.. panggil dia Miss melalak.."

This was Nuha when she was just a few seconds old. 2.93 kg and she was a very very loud newborn baby that every nurse in the hospital gave her a nickname "Miss Melalak." 

This is Nuha now. 6 kg at 3++ months old. Having a kid changes your life. Everyone knows that having a baby is a life-altering experience. Things that were once important seem meaningless, hours of free time soon shrink into seconds, and you find yourself having conversations about subject that you never thought you would. it is as if you have been invited into a secret world of wonder and shame, embarrassment and joy, and a thousand little quirks that only another parent can understand. For better or for worse it is a change that can not be undone.

Stroller Dilemma

Husband and I have been looking at strollers for a while *Pause*

Nah, actually, we've been eyeing for this one stroller before we even knew I was pregnant. *Pause (again)*

Correction. I've been eyeing for this one stroller before we even knew I was pregnant. My husband did not share the same opinion as the stroller that I was aiming for costs too much. Considering our income, he thinks we should opt for a less cheaper stroller. But I believe that a more expensive stroller is always a better choice than a lower priced model. I know what you are thinking. While price is often directly relative to the quality of a product, higher price tag does not necessarily mean that you’ll get a stroller that is better for your needs. Yes, I get that! But I think this one stroller that I've been aiming for or I aimed for is very well made/invented and worth every penny.

And that stroller is........Bugaboo Cameleon

Why am I really in love with this Bugaboo Cameleon Baby Stroller?

Even though it is expensive it lasts from infancy to toddlerhood thanks to the individual seating that it comes with. The bassinette is perfect for baby and when he/she is capable of sitting up on his own the toddler seat fits perfect. Plus since there are two separate seats you don’t have to worry about either one getting too messed up. The Bugaboo Cameleon comes with a rain shield and a mosquito net standard. These are perfect for taking baby out and because they have a storage spot on the stroller you will not forget and leave them home. The stroller is easy to take apart in order to store it in the trunk of a car or closet and very easy to reassemble. 

After a few arguments with my husband, I still did not manage to convince my husband to buy this stroller. It took me awhile but i have finally come to my senses that the stroller is overpriced and we should not spend our savings on a stroller. And so, we decided to buy something that is within our limits of what we earn. Basically, we have agreed to buy a stroller that is not too cheap and not too expensive. Any stroller that is beyond RM1500 should not be an option for us. Personally, my husband and I have considered and tried a total of 6 strollers. 

But then, on a one fine day, I received an SMS from dad in London telling me that he has bought a stroller for our baby. I did not expect it at all. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the SMS because I somehow imagined that dad would bring me home a 'Bugaboo Cameleon' all the way from London. To make the long story short, dad has bought me an Xtreme Pushchair Travel System from Mothercare instead. 

When I first saw the stroller, I was like "is this really a stroller? or a motor boat?." I was quite frustrated at first because it’s a little bulky when folded which I think may not be ideal if you need to fold it on a bus or get it into the boot of a small car and I really think that the design is very old fashion. However, I am still glad and thankful that dad has bought me this stroller for our baby. And I am also grateful that dad has helped us to lessen our financial burden. Though it's not a compact choice but I've read reviews that the Mothercare Xtreme is a really good value travel system, with plenty of great features and added extras for your money. After all, I don't think our baby would mind being pushed in any kind of stroller. I'm so grateful to God he has granted me such a nice and an unbelievably thoughtful Dad. 

Pregnancy Rambling

I am entering my 3^rd semester of pregnancy and all i could think of right now is food. I think about food all the time and I go berserk if i don't get to eat the food that i crave for. Blame the weird pregnancy hormone.  One of the realities of motherhood is that from the instant you find out you're pregnant, your hormones and your instinct will take over your body and your sanity, and your perception of the world around you will change forever especially about food. Haha It is a common cliché that pregnant women crave for food, but no one ever told me that my taste buds would go berserk and I would end up eating tons of ... oranges! I hope you know what I mean, it is totally odd if you eat box after box of oranges until you got yourself a diarrhoea attack (this happened to me in my 2^nd trimester). I was really really obsessed with oranges. I even bought citrus-scented shower gel/body soap for myself. Again, blame the pregnancy hormone. Haha

As per my usual routine, i sleep at around 9pm every night and I pee like every 15 minutes. I HATE having to get up at night to go to the toilet, it cramps my sleeping style. It's also quite disturbing wondering if, in the 45 minute drive home from work, I'm going to be able to hold it in or will I have to stop on the side of the road. Basically, i experience what other mothers experience during the 3^rd trimester. I've been wanting to start swimming but i’m too busy with work and my weekends are usually packed with family activities.

My baby bump looks practically small compared to other expectant mothers. Trust me, people still think that I am about 4/5 months pregnant while i am now in my 31^st week of pregnancy. I weighed myself on Monday and I'm officially up 15kgs from pre-pregnancy weight. And if I keep it up with the ice cream and chocolate, I'm sure it will go up quickly.  Need to be careful. Me + sugar cravings = very dangerous combo. I don’t quite get it though as my baby bump doesn’t really appear but i keep on putting more weight.

Thoughts: I am so excited to meet this baby. I feel like May should be a lot closer than it is...but it's going by fast. At the same time, i all psyched to buy all the baby supplies. Hehe 

Lost Count of How Far I Am

Someone just asked me how far along I am? and I was like 26 weeks, wait.. 25 weeks? errrrrr or probably 27 weeks?

My reaction of the last HP movie

Its lunch hour and I left my robert jordan book at home. dang! anyway, i've watched the last HP movie weeks ago and i still cannot get it out of my mind. Ive been thinking a lot about Harry Potter lately. I know your reaction would be like this --> "wth is wrong with this woman? don't u have any other thing to think about?" i get it. i get that a lot actually. so Im used to it.

You don’t understand, it's like a huge part of my childhood just died, and now all I have are bitter sweet memories of the times I would put a robe on, grab a branch and run around my room yelling spells at the top of my lungs (Ok, ive never done this but ive imagined this so many times especially when I read the books). See Harry Potter wasn’t just a book, or a movie, but it is something that I grew up with. Something that I saw grow as I did, something that I could escape to. I always felt like I could just open a Harry Potter book and feel all the emotions and excitement. See when you’re a kid the things you believe in (I mean really truly believe in) give you so much hope and make the world seem so wonderful, and as you grow older you begin to see the world for what it really is. You see all the ugly and all the bad, but then you can remember times when you really felt you were a wizard/witch. Times when the world was less complicated and these books can transport you to these amazing lands full of things I could only dream of. So now that I have seen the last movie (and read each book several times) I feel as though I have closed a chapter in my life, but I will always look fondly upon the days when I was so engrossed with Harry Potter; unable to turn the page fast enough. Hours and days spent at the edge of my bed as I read on and as I connected more and more to this fantastic world that I can only wish were real. I will always have Harry Potter in my heart, not just because of its inspiring message, but also because it has etched itself right in the nooks of my soul! I will forever be a Potterhead, from 13 to 130 (13 because harry potter was first published in 1997 when i was 13)! So you see, it’s so much more!

Some part of me is still here

I thought I wanted to move permanently to my tumblr. But somehow, I kinda miss blogspot. I don't know why.

I've moved permanently to this place