Thursday, 20 September 2012

Things that change when you have a baby

I remember when I was pregnant with our child and everyone would say that having a baby changes everything. I was a little irritated because I thought I understood that already. Why did people keep telling me like I didn't know? Then, Nuha came and I suddenly understood. I don't think that is something anyone can really grasp until they have their first child. Having a baby changes a person's life in so many ways, regardless of how old you are when you have it. Here's how Nuha has changed me in so many ways:
  1. I respect my parent and love them in a new way. Having Nuha makes me love my parent even more because I am now going through what my parent had gone through for me. And the fact that they never make a fuss about their hardship makes me realize that I am one lucky girl. 
  2. Once you are responsible for another human being, you see things differently. You start to see things in a different light. The way you think about money changes. I would rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that I've been dying to have. Now, I think in terms of how many diapers, or clothes that RM50 could buy.  I see the world differently because I see in terms of how it will effect my baby.  Having Nuha really changes my perspective on absolutely everything. My priorities shift 
  3. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own. Nuha had her first fever recently. I swear to god that I've never felt this sad and worried when I saw the symptoms at the start of a cold hit her. I cried when I saw mucus running down the back of her throat. 
  4. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do!
  5. I've never felt this accomplished before. Having Nuha is by far the greatest achievement in my life. 
  6. My social life drastically taper down because Nuha does not usually take well to restaurants or other outings. However, this is going to depend on your baby and how you two are as a couple.
  7. Sudden sleep deprivation. Caring for baby requires a tremendous exertion of energy. You have to continually feed your baby, burp it, and change its diapers. It is also important that you monitor baby—even if the baby is napping—to ensure her breathing is regular. On top of that, you have to go to work and do the house chores. Can you imagine how tiring it is?
  8. As a breastfeeding mom, I dress differently than I used to. Now. whatever I wear I have to think of my baby. I can't wear tight fitting top as it would give me a hard time to feed my baby. 
  9. I go to bed as early as 8 pm and wake up at 5 am everyday.
  10. I've never been this happy!!! In fact, I am happy all the time even when my job is killing me.
  11. I discover an inner strength I never thought I had. I think I just became a superhero because my love for Nuha is limitless. I never knew I had this capacity to love. I am now more intuitive, sensitive, protective and caring.
  12. I think about Nuha all the time. I have this new habit of doodling my baby's name when in meetings or when I'm bored. And I can't think of anything else to write about other than Nuha. My blog bores you.. I know. heh
So, yes. Having a baby will be a life-changer. Along with the sleep deprivation and loss of freedom will come things you never even imagined.  This is her, the girl who changes me in a lot of ways.

Thursday, 13 September 2012

My Childbirth Experience

There is something very special about childbirth because while there are so many people around you that have been through it, no two are the same. When I had Nuha, it was really quite strange. I absolutely had no idea what to expect. To tell you the truth, I was not really ready for this whole 'motherhood' thingy. I was scared all the time when I had her in my tummy. Anyway, here's how it all began.....

That Tuesday afternoon, I showed up at the hospital for my 39-weeks pregnancy check up. I was alone that day because my husband had to work and couldn't take a time off. My water still hadn't broken and I remember feeling so energetic that day. It was around 12 pm when I brought my pregnancy check up book to the nurse for my CTG scan. A few nurses came in the room while I had my CTG scan. One of them keep popping in and out of the room and told me that I had to do another CTG. I wasn't in pain at all at that time and felt so hungry. I slept all the way for my 2nd CTG scan. I was only awake when the doctor came in to check on me. He was quite surprised when he saw me sleeping and said "Eh, you are sleeping? Don't you feel any pain?" Apparently, I was already 4cm dilated when he did the VE on me. The first thing that I said to him was "But doctor, I still haven't had my Nasi Ayam.. I am not ready." I had my eye on the Nasi Ayam in front of Ampang Puteri while I was driving to the hospital. He then laughed and said to me that I can have my Nasi Ayam and should come back to the labour room at 3pm. Can you guess what happens next? Yes!! I had 2 plates of roasted Nasi Ayam while waiting for my husband to come to the hospital. At the same time, mom kept on calling me and reminding me to recite all the necessary Quranic verses. 

It was 3pm and I went straight to the labor room without bringing anything with me. My bag was at home and I had to wait for my husband to pick it up before we met. The nurses prepped me up and I waited but I wasn't so sure what I was waiting for. In my mind, I was like "Am i waiting for my husband or my doctor?" Like I told you, I wasn't ready when Nuha wanted to come out of my tummy. Doctor came in and asked me whether I want an epidural or not. I was about to answer yes when he said "No need la.. I think you can go through this whole thing without an epidural" and I went along with it. To cut the story short, husband was already there when the doctor broke my water. I remember feeling in pain when it was 6 pm. The pain was excruciating that I felt like kicking and punching my husband. I took the happy gas and my doctor gave me a shot of pain killer. Trust me, those things weren't helping at all. 

0800 pm and I was 8 cm dilated. At this point, I regretted that I went along with my doctor when he told me that I shouldn't take the epidural. 

1130  pm, 10 cm dilated. The contraction pains were killing me! The doctor briefed me on how to push my baby out. I listened to his instructions. I remember a nurse cheering me up after every push. 7 pushes and Nuha was out. I could hear her cry immediately. She was so loud that my doctor and the nurses said "wow! kuat nya suara dia.. panggil dia Miss melalak.."

This was Nuha when she was just a few seconds old. 2.93 kg and she was a very very loud newborn baby that every nurse in the hospital gave her a nickname "Miss Melalak." 

This is Nuha now. 6 kg at 3++ months old. Having a kid changes your life. Everyone knows that having a baby is a life-altering experience. Things that were once important seem meaningless, hours of free time soon shrink into seconds, and you find yourself having conversations about subject that you never thought you would. it is as if you have been invited into a secret world of wonder and shame, embarrassment and joy, and a thousand little quirks that only another parent can understand. For better or for worse it is a change that can not be undone.