When does it get easier?

I'm feeling awful today because work is killing me. I feel like giving up my career and become a home-maker instead. But I know that being a home maker won't make my life any easier. Imagine working 24 hours doing the house-hold chores?  I don't think I can be a home-maker. Not everybody can be a home-maker. Admittedly, I am not used to keeping a whole house perfectly spick and span by myself. I don't even know how to cook. 

Anyway, Nuha is 5 months now but she still does not role over. I think Nuha is just being cheeky and she is just being pampered too much by everybody in the house. She sleeps through the night just fine, usually eight to ten hours. Nah! Wait! she doesn't really sleep through the night. She wakes up 6 times a night for feeding and I don't know how to do the side lying nursing position. My problem is that she will only catnap during the day (ten to 30 minutes, two or three times a day). My mom tried rocking her to sleep, giving her the pacifier (she totally rejects pacifier), putting her in a dark room, stroller rides, car rides but nothing works. I feel really guilty for leaving Nuha with my mom. 

Breastfeeding is still hard for me because I have to sneak into pumping sessions during office hours but Alhamdulillah I can still manage to pump twice during the day even though my production is running low. The most I can produce is 5oz per pumping session from both left and right. Quite frustrating but this is not an excuse for me to quit breastfeeding. 

Ooops. lunch hour is almost over, I think I gotta stop babbling about my not so challenging life. Chow.


To Nuha,
In case if you read this one day.. Don't get it wrong. I still love you even when you get fussy all day.